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#Christianity #Grief #Alzheimer's #Photography

1/4/2015

4 Comments

 
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Christianity,Grief,Eternity, JustThinking&Photography



I thought I was ok, really. It's not as though I don't think about my mom. I

do and often. Most days it's just a moment of sadness, somewhat bearable

now.

Christmas came and went. I baked, cleaned, ate, laughed, wrapped, shopped,

talked and visited. All was well until the first of January when out of

nowhere, that familiar ache at my heart returned. My nose got itchy as my

eyes filled with tears. I had to stop myself, yet again, from heaving and outright

bawling. How is it that after all this time, grief came knocking at my door?

I wonder about Mom. As a Christian, I don't believe in actually talking to her,

but I ask Jesus to hug her and to let her know I'm thinking about her. I

contemplate what deaths’ LIFE must be like. Knowing and seeing as she must

see today. Is she smiling... waiting for when we show up? Is she visiting with

her own mother and sister?

There are many things that remain a mystery for me.


Still, I am curious.

I'm not ignoring death. After we die it’s a long, long time. Death is but another

step into eternity, its everlasting. So I think about it often. My death, or leaving

this life, will be far longer than the days I have walked this world. I'd better

think about it, prepare for it and get ready.   It's not going to be just a short

vacation, followed by my return home. Eternity and heaven will be my new

permanent home. It's nothing to be flip about.

My husband and I talk often about how much time people spend planning here

on earth which is so fleeting compared to the concept of forever. Yet, many

people hardly anticipate dying until; sadly, it's too late to think about it. Some

say it is morbid. What is morbid about awesomeness? Or God? Everything


here is about practicing for the real deal...or SHOULD be. We are ambassadors

to the King who has gone to prepare a place for us: a home. Much as I like

my house, I'm quite sure that the one the King is working on is going to be

really nice.


 Heaven, beyond my imagination...

I miss my mom terribly but I can't help but be more than a little jealous.

"Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
 O what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God, 
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood. "

Mom is now living in that assurance, she is living her inheritance and in the

presence of glory divine.



4 Comments
leslie
1/5/2015 03:32:03 am

Your Mom as my Mom gave us life, instilled everlasting values but the best gift of all was the unconditional love.
In good times and bad we remember those funny quirky stories of our youth.
Yes, things still trigger those tears. I celebrate the women we have become because of the wonderful women we came from.

Reply
Barbie link
1/5/2015 04:07:33 am

Words of wisdom Leslie. You always have beautiful insight, it means so much to me the things you have shared over the last years. I'm not just talking about those outstanding and talented gifts you make, those are a bonus! Your heart is special.

Reply
Anna
1/13/2015 02:00:42 pm

Barbie, I just wanted you to know how much this blog post of yours touched my heart as I read it. It stirred up feeling of sadness as I too still grieve over the loss of my precious Mom 8 years go, but not only that it stirred up feeling of joy in knowing she too is "living her inheritance and in the presence of glory divine." Nothing replaces the comfort that kind of truth brings. Thank you for sharing your heart...you are a blessing to me!

Reply
Anna link
1/14/2015 07:19:56 am

Dear Anna, Your comments are a blessing to me. When we love in the Lord we certainly see from a shared vantage point. Sadness&Joy are almost like a single emotion. I am sorry for your loss Anna though it was 8 yrs ago I am sure you miss her to this day. God Bless...

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