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Unto The Lamb

10/18/2016

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Years ago my mother gave me a book (one of many). The book is called The Book In Review, by Herbert Vanderlugt. It is a quick and wonderful review of the Bible from Genesis to Revelation. The book follows two streams, one of individual salvation and one world redemption- as they flow through the Bible. (page 192) 
At the very end the last words or quote is from a man named Eric Sauer and it is one of my favorite messages about God.
" We behold with worship this age-long plan of God. The record of salvation in the Bible has conducted us from the gate of eternity before all time to the gate of eternity after this time. The goal is exactly as the commencement (Psalm 90:2), God Himself...But He Himself, the King of ages (1Timothy 1:17), will then bring ages upon ages out of His inexhaustible, infinite fullness (Revelation 22:5; Ephesians 2:7). In heavenly jubilees  will His redeemed creatures praise Him, and through the spheres and worlds of the new creation will ring and resound the triumphant, exultant song: "Unto Him that sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb, be the blessing, and the honor, and the glory, and the dominion, from eternity to eternity. (Revelation 5:13,14).

(This picture was taken on a lovely September long drive with my dad)

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Herons...

4/8/2016

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Southwest of the bog...

It was quiet all around me with only an occasional sound from the wind or a yelp from the herons which I'd come to see. Bundled up in layers of clothes along with water boots, I turned off my iphone as to not disturb nature. I watched and waited, hoping to see the dance of the great blue herons mating.  I saw one pick up a branch from a nest, drop it, then pick up another one and fly off. I thought to myself, "it’s close..."
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Herons and egrets present sticks to the one that tickles their fancy during courtship and nesting. It’s like a man bringing a woman flowers...the sticks are gifts and a show of affection. Herons don’t mate for life so this is a yearly ceremony. I’m eager to see it in full display.

I thought about my life today and said aloud, “I cannot believe it.” How blessed I am. I reflected over how time flies and the gentleness and grace of God. Experience and age changes us but He is the conductor of life's orchestra: the beginning and the end. I said again out loud, “ I never thought I’d see and do the things I’ve been privileged to see and do these past few years. I never even imagined it.”  I’ve been immeasurably showered over by my husband’s generosity in allowing me to pursue the things I feel passionate about. I hardly ever put down my camera and I thrive on crazy abstract adventures, especially on rivers and in the woods. I am not well liked by most but to my husband I know I am his whole world. This is a delicate and sacred knowledge and my own heart is full of flowers every day.
Many years of my own life were about survival. They were unstable years, stained with much sin that haunted me with deep sorrow. For years I cried because I knew that as a mother of three children I had not had the wisdom or strength to give them what they deserved. It was only when I met my husband that he provided a sanctuary and a home. Together we gave them our best, together we sought the Lord, and together we attempted to fill their brains with His truth before they left our home. In a way it was a crash course in parenting and priorities as we worked to make up for lost time.
I turned away from friendships then so that I could look to God alone, ignoring others' opinions about right and wrong. I needed time to work through all the feebleness and the grandiose, “there are many truths” mindsets which are so pervasive in today's society. I did have friends who I loved and adored. It was they that helped me to get by many tragic crossroads in my life. For that I will always smile when I think about them. I found, though that I didn’t want their truths I wanted “THE truth.” I spent several years reading the Bible word by word, line by line, verse and chapter by chapter, book by book,(I still do). I also studied doctrine, theology, church history, cults, progressivism, Catholicism, dispensation, Calvinism and the likes. Name it, I’ve likely studied it. I discovered that to be an intellectual one does not have to be an academic.

“Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” 2 Timothy 2:15

Though I continue to examine the Bible, I also have entrenched myself to nature and Gods creation. I find it fascinating. I recall thinking last year as I was embedded with Canada geese, how anyone could possibly believe in evolution. Evolution is about evolving but geese are practically perfect. Herons, on the other hand are predators and they look like dinosaurs. Sarcastically, I wonder if that’s why so many people like them. I like them too. They’re beautiful, graceful and like all things, they are Gods handiwork. I know I’ll learn something and I am looking forward to that.

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More "just thinking" about Israel

7/26/2015

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For behold, I create Jerusalem for rejoicing And her people for gladness -Isaiah 65:18

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Overlooking the CityDavid.jpg
Recently at my husband Dave's class reunion I had a fun&lively conversation with one of his classmates. Marla, the woman I visited with, worked for a time at the U.S. Embassy located in Tel Aviv. In 2011 my husband, son and I toured Israel. The hotel we stayed at was right beside that Embassy. Dave and I have dreams of one day retiring in Israel to live in Tel Aviv. I told Marla that before we make a final decision we would talk to her again. She shared that it's much different being there as a tourist versus actually living in the state. She is right. The cost of living is high, the religious strain is combative and intense, the country is surrounded on all sides with the Middle East unrest. By her reaction, I'd say that she sensed that we are probably delusional. She did say that it is easier to live there if a person is solidly spiritually centered. We talked some about the Jewish religious divides within the priesthoods and the tension that exists on many street corners with vigorous, animated outbursts of argumentation. I had to laugh as I joined her in our own spunky, give and take of opinions. I really enjoyed Marla; she was straight up, smart&gutsy !
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In my own studies, I have done some in depth research on most of the Jewish priesthoods. I have very strong viewpoints about this subject. I am aware of the political persuasion&influence in Israel by the Orthodoxy Hasidic sect of Judaism, which took hold&inserted its own brand of legalism, righteousness&peity in their society. Like the days of Jesus when the Sadducees&Phaisees comprised the ruling class, so it is today with the Hasidic authoritative impact. I find them fascinating to study, watch and talk to, but with all due respect my theorem position always stands on biblical doctrine. Therefore, only the Jewish priesthood of eternal value is the Leviticus sect. I recall having this discussion with a scholar who happily declared that, "...there is no such thing today as the Levites priestly function and that there are none..."

Hmmm...perhaps he should go to Israel and walk the Kotel Tunnel.

God is at work.
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The first camera I gave any thought to buying was a SONY point and shoot. It cost us $279.00 and we bought it to have something to take with us to Israel.
Excerpt from my book
When It's All Said & Done

I cannot begin to express the awe of this trip.
Dave, Nate&I bonded in a way that only those who love God&His word can identify with. We stayed in Tel Aviv, at the Park Plaza Orchard, on the beach. We took daily trips from this point of origin, returning at night. We bicycled to Old Jaffa, traveled to the Jordan River, saw Meggiddo, walked the old cities of Jesus's day, gazed at Old Jerusalem from the Mt of Olives, cried at the Garden of Gethsemane, stood on Calvary, witnessed the place of Christ's tomb, climped the stairs to the Rotunda, took pictures of the Chapel of the Franks, toured the Kotel Tunnel, bowed&prayed near the supposed place of the Arc of the Covenant.

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Old Jerusalem from The Mount of Olives
We talked to Leviticus Priests, covered our heads at the Western Wall& Old City, strolled&smelled the aroma of the Cotton Merchants Market. We were stopped at the entrance of the Dome of the Rock by gun toting guards, soaked in the Negev Desert&the Dead Sea. We toured Masada&the West Bank, went to Haifa, Mount Carmel, Caesarea, and walked the Crusader underground city&the grand gothic Knights Hall. We saw the Roman Theater&aqueducts, Herold's palace, and saw the beauty of Rash Hanikra, along the Lebanon-Israeli border.
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Our son, Nate, standing on top of Masada
We talked, and visited with people, whose lives&personal stories were magnificent. It was extraordinary&unbelievable. We cried, laughed&pinched ourselves at this blessing of a trip. It was intense, historical& deeply profound for all three of us.
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Paper Whites

12/13/2014

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Paper Whites

As a Christian I don’t prescribe to superstition or Karma. When I am in doubt or unsure of something I don’t ask God for a sign but rather I ask Him to increase my faith. (That is what my mother prayed too.)

This morning when I got up I was pleasantly surprised. My first ever paper white narcissus was in bloom. (It is also my birthday!)

Mom talked about doing them every year for Christmas but never got around to it. I determined to do them this year.

The bulbs came from Israel.

What a gift!

 

(The angels and nativity were presents from my parents in years past)

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#Alzheimer's #Looking in the Mirror

11/20/2014

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While on vacation recently my husband and I took a “selfie” of the two of us with my camera. Afterward, as I looked at the picture…there staring back at me was my mom, my aunt and my grandmother. No, really it was them! I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry. Laugh, because it was so funny to see them there on the beach with us. Cry, because I look like them as elderly women.

As I have mentioned in other blogs, all three died from Alzheimer’s and related complications. Sal, my grandmother, was in her late 80’s while Mom and Aunt Donna Rae were in their early 70’s.

My mother witnessed both her mother and sister fade away from Alzheimer’s. Mom and Dad drove from Maine to Pennsylvania regularly while Sal was in the hospital, until her death. After Gram died they began their sojourn back and forth every weekend to Connecticut to see my aunt.  Mom started buying small angel figurines, which she would then bring to her sister. Mom would also write out verses from the book of Psalms and hang or put them around her sister during her last days. Aunt Donna Rae loved the book of Psalms!

Mom watched and knew what Alzheimer’s can do to a person.

Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 15 months before she died. By the time she was told she had this horrible illness she was past the point of understanding. Prior to her diagnosis, Dad and I knew something was wrong.  Dad had her repeatedly seeing doctors who said she did not have Alzheimer’s but rather, Primary Progressive Aphasia.

Dave, my husband, and I were with Mom and Dad when their doctor at the Lahey Clinic gave them “the news.” Mom was actually elated to find out she did not have Primary Progressive Aphasia. She never heard or grasped that she had Alzheimer’s. What bliss and grace God extended to her.

Mom was in the habit throughout her ongoing memory loss of saying “When I get better.” Mom thought she was going to get better until the very end. That was her supreme optimism at work. It was because of her sense of hope and faith that Mom was able to bless her family and friends until her death from Alzheimer’s.

I write all of this because I wanted to remind myself and others of how wonderful Mom was. She was cute in personality, she was gracious and loving towards others, she was overflowing in joy and she was a woman of faith. Mom knew her Savior lived and that he would never leave her. I write this also because I now struggle with my own unknown fate. I know that, like Mom, the days of my life are held in the Lord’s hands yet I have days in which I ponder “Will I, too come down with this progressive disease against my brain and mind?” It is easier for me to casually joke it off, make fun of it, but just beneath the surface it rests like a bag of stones.  It nags at me, telling me to get my own house in order, to let Dave know how I do things, organize the drawers, the closets, the bills and make sure he knows where everything is and how to do all the things I am charged with doing in our home. What if I wake up one day and I don’t know that I don’t know.

That is Alzheimer’s. You don’t even know that you don’t know.

Mom was all the things I mentioned, but she was also academic, educated, smart and witty. We enjoyed many conversations about Biblical history, prophets and just what is the Trinity; The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit? Does The Holy Spirit reside in our minds?( Romans 8:5-8)  How does God speak to us? What must heaven be like? Who is the latest deceiver in the world? How does the Old Testament lead up to the New Testament? What have you found in the Bible today that reveals who God is? Mom and I talked often, mostly about God. We were girls of research and shared discoveries.   She was so heavy and deep sometimes I couldn’t follow her. At other times she was so childlike that I couldn’t follow her either. Her kindergarten teacher persona was way over my head !

It is the mind that I fear losing…Surrendering my mind to God is my hardest task. I love to think, to process, to analyze and to know. This is where I begin my reasoning, it is where I recall, remember and deliberately consider God, people and form words of prayer. Yet the intellect can only comprehend the things of God it cannot fully seize them. God is knowable through His Son and through His word and the illumination of The Holy Spirit, but God is still God and greater than anything I could possible fully wrap my perception around. Still, like my mother, I love to set my mind on understanding.

But when it’s all said and done all that matters is that I belong to Christ .He  will see me through. I know this because I witnessed Him carry Mom to the very end. In Christ alone… not my mind, not my understanding, not my knowledge, not my consciousness, not my experience…He is the rock, the cornerstone and the fullness in time to the glory of God.

This chick went almost unnoticed by me. It moved so fast, was so tiny and outsmarted my every move. This is a baby Jacana, also known as the "Jesus bird" because these birds look as though they are walking on water. (This picture was taken at a bit of distance)
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#Alzheimer's #Dignity #Just Thinking

9/27/2014

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Dignity

Lately I have been contemplating the word “dignity”, it may be because I have also been thinking about my mom. In thinking about her I feel a bit lonely, I miss her unconditional love. By “unconditional love” I don’t mean to misrepresent that she approved of all of my behavior or actions, but I knew that no matter what she loved me. That’s just the way a mother is. I love words and so did mom. We both felt/feel that words had meaning. She was good at games and playing with funny ways to say words. “Pig Latin” was her all-time favorite and she did it better than anyone I knew. “Pig Latin”, for those who don’t know, is when you take the first letter of a word and put it at the end. Mom could rattle off full sentences and oh how she laughed at herself.

As I think about the word dignity I have reflected at how important it was for us to uphold mom’s dignity as her Alzheimer’s took her mind. The word is often associated with death and dying, and rightfully so, but it is an immense word with tremendous meaning.

What does it mean to show or give dignity and what does it mean to have dignity?

Dignity: decorum, decency, respectability, self-respect, poise, honor, character, worthiness, virtue and grace. Dignity meaning: bearing, conduct, or speech indicative of self-respect or appreciation of formality or gravity of an occasion or situation.

My mother had dignity and she gave it to others. Perhaps one must have it in order to give it…

The Bible doesn’t have many references to the word dignity but it most certainly infers it over and over again. In the 10 commandments we see that dignity is directly associated with honor. In the first 4 commandments God shows us how to honor and love Him but in the 5th commandment we are told to; “honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.” The rest of the commandments show us how to love and honor others. There is an infinite amount of reverence in the commandments.

We give dignity to others when we show them respect. We give dignity to others when we show them honor. We give dignity when we are self- controlled in our behavior and words. We give dignity to others when we poise ourselves in proper decorum, conduct and grace. We give dignity when we pour ourselves out in sacrificial love.

Jesus had dignity. He was and is worthy of all honor, praise and glory. Yet when Jesus was on this earth He had no appearance of dignity, in fact while there are beautiful descriptions of God in majesty in the Bible none of them are attributed to Jesus as He walked on earth. (Many have conjured up false images of Jesus with no Biblical truth.) Jesus the Redeemer that was seen and known while he was here is best described by the prophet Isaiah:

“Just as there were many who were appalled at him- his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man and his form marred beyond human likeness” Isaiah 52:14

“He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces, he was despised, and we esteemed him not.” Isaiah 53:2b-3

Dignity is not what we look like it is our character, our essence. I’d go so far as to say it is in part our joyful eternity in Christ. The Lord Jesus revealed the way to dignity also in Isaiah when He declares:

“Because the Sovereign Lord helps me I will not be disgraced. Therefore I set my face like a flint, and I know I will not be put to shame. He who vindicates me is near.” Isaiah 50:7-8b

The Holy One had confidence in the Father, his words reflected his everlasting trust and shield. Jesus knew who He was; He knew what was being asked of Him by the Father. We would be wise to know ourselves who we are in Christ, what is being asked of us and to stand in truth and dignity no matter what.

Nine days before I lost my mother I wrote this…

“Sometime love is marred beyond recognition…It is here where we come to understand that true love has no boundaries.”

Though I no longer really recognized Mom in terms of her personality (Alzheimer's),  I  still knew her to be my mom. I knew what and who she lived her life for. Mom taught me so much, she stood strong in spite of her environment, the world’s evolving immorality, the disappearance of family values and others dismissal of her Christianity. She was a woman of great dignity.

Since her death I have sorted out many things in my own life. There was a time when dignity was not an aspiration. There was a time when I had no need to self-reflect on what personal character was. There was a time when walking with God was but a causal thought, not an embraced effort. There was a time when if I was hurt by others treatment of me I’d lash out, become a victim. There was a time when I cried for hours because my own perspective was blurred and my conduct was unbecoming. Dignity had no meaning; truth, a plural word not an adherence to conviction and believe.

There were times when prior to her Alzheimer’s mom occasionally slipped into loneliness and depression. I understand it better today. The world is a lonely place, people do not extend honor and grace naturally. Dignity is a forgotten noun. Pride is on the rise…


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“This is a heretic.”

7/3/2014

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  “This is a heretic.”

The story behind one of my favorite heroes of the faith, John Hus, is a great example of what our founding fathers had in mind when they penned The First Amendment to the Constitution.

John Hus, a Bohemian, became acquainted with the Bible translation of John Wycliffe in the latter Middle Ages. John Wycliffe, the English zealot who studied at the University of Oxford, felt rightly that the Bible, not the Church of Rome, should be the only rule of faith. He took it upon himself to work diligently at translating this masterpiece into English so that “the people” would be able to read it. At that time the Bible was written in Latin and the general population, notwithstanding the clergy, wasn’t able to freely read, discern or participate in “the written word.” The people were at the mercy of the Church, The Pontiff and clergy in matters of the faith. If the ruling class within the church deemed it so, then so be it.

Bear in mind that at that time, the church was the government. To speak out against either was punishable, often by a cruel death. We would be wise to recall the Middle Ages, The Inquisitions and the murders which proceeded our founding fathers’ arrival to America.

John Hus enthusiastically embraced the English Bible and the concepts put forth by John Wycliffe. Hus was a bold reformer and preached tirelessly. He predates Martin Luther and John Calvin as a brave Christian soul who stood face to face against the powers of the government, emperor and papacy.  For his boldness he was rendered heretical and was burned at the stake.

“Renounce your error,” shouted the Duke of Bavaria.

“I have taught no error. The truth I will seal with my blood, ”replied John Hus.

“Burn him.”

It is in remembrance of the martyrs who stood up to the marriage and unrestrained control of church and state throughout Europe that our founding fathers rightly drafted our US constitution to include the fundamental predated Gettysburg concept, “by the people for the people.”

The birth of our US constitution included the birth of a democracy; a government in which the people take part in the decision making process to avoid an overreach of governing authority. The First Amendment of The United States Constitution was solely to protect us from federal government control.

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

In stating that “congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion,” the Constitution upholds that the Federal government has no right to impose a national religion on its citizens, nor involve itself in states or individual religious freedom (including freedom of worship). That said, the US Supreme Court has, at times, ruled against “practices” deemed extreme, protecting the belief while condemning a practice. Some examples of this would be monogamy, deviant sexual behavior or satanic rituals. Yet, on a federal level the foundational right is to not “prohibit the free exercise of religion, speech or peaceable assembly thereof.”

I have pondered if those who decry an extreme view of “separation of church and state” are aware of the fact that these words are not found in the Federal Constitution but have their beginnings elsewhere. Thomas Jefferson originally referred to “the walls of separation of church and state” when addressing the Danbury Baptist in Connecticut, who were a bit bothered by their Congregationalist brethrens. The Congregationalists were the established church at the time, and while the Baptist understood autonomy in states’ rights, they were seeking a sympathetic ear in Jefferson. As they expressed to Jefferson, “national government cannot destroy the laws of each state; but our hopes are strong that the sentiments of our beloved president…will shine and prevail through all the states and all the world, till hierarchy and tyranny be destroyed from the earth.”

Jefferson replied acknowledging that a wall of separation between church and state existed at the federal level, assuring the Baptist the federal government would not interfere with matters of the church. He was in hopes that this would be philosophically adopted at the state level too. Jefferson had helped Virginia by drafting their Religious Freedom Act in 1786 after the US Constitution of 1776. Virginia declared that people would have a right to worship as they pleased, including the freedom to not worship. The authority over religious matters rested with the states as to limit the power of the federal government.

His sentiments were not to abolish religion or to hide it in the public square, but to uphold denominational religious freedom from federal and state interference. In his writing of the Virginia Religious Freedom Act, Jefferson’s first words were “Almighty God hath created the mind free.” It was unfathomable to think different church denominations couldn’t worship in federal executive office buildings at that time.

Additionally, on or about 1947 the Supreme Court began to apply the Federal First Amendment or “establishment clause” … “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion,” in the context of “separation of church and state.”

They overrode states’ rights and interjected language not fixed within the US Federal Constitution. The Supreme Court has interjected their interpretation out of context to its original historical intent. Their rulings are “religious freedom gone amuck.” It is the Supreme Court’s rulings which have destabilized the balance of thoughtful and rational people to include removal of the Ten Commandments or religious symbols’ from public areas and courts, not allowing prayer at graduations, or a moment of silence within a school classroom.

Like the Darwinian Theory that is treated as fact, The Doctrine of Separation of Church and State is wrongly treated as law.

It is not law. It is merely a doctrine up for debate. How easily an ignorant person is fooled…Theory and doctrine are not facts and laws.

The wall of separation of church and state is not a double edged sword with equal leanings, it is a sword which behooves the government to obey so that the people are entitled to freedom of liberty, religion and worship. The strong-arm of the United States government isn’t to eliminate or control freedom it doesn’t like in the name of political expediency.  It is similar to the “right to bear arms.” The intent of the constitution was not for the government, but for the people against tyranny.

Just as Hus and Wycliffe and the many reformers of Europe wanted religious freedom, so did many of those who had now had established their lives here in the New World. Freedom of religion or speech in the United States also means freedom from persecution. It is an inalienable God given right. It makes us who we are as a nation.

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#Alzheimer's book press release "When It's All Said and Done"

6/4/2014

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SweetGeorgieAnnsBooksandWhatNot

1568 Washington Avenue, Portland Me 04103

https://www.sweetgeorgieannsbooksandwhatnot.com

207-838-1808

Barbie@sweetgeorgieannsbooksandwhatnot.com

 

PRESS RELEASE

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact: Barbie DelCamp

 

Barbie DelCamp writes a poignant, honest and touching memoir about her mother’s Alzheimer’s and what not.

 

Author, Barbie DelCamp, a mother and wife living in Portland Maine, shares her and her father’s experiences in the tragedy and loss of her mother through Alzheimer’s. This first publication is entitled, When It’s All Said and Done.

 

Georgie Ann Walizer Forney, the author’s mother, died at 73 years old from Alzheimer’s and related complications. When It’s All Said and Done is an autobiographical account, written in a time frame beginning in 2000, until the death of Georgie Ann. It is written from a Christian believer’s point of view.

 

In When It’s All Said and Done, Barbie DelCamp successfully addresses many of the commonalities in ALL terminal illnesses, as she takes the reader on a sojourn through love, denial, sadness, laughter, despair, loss, grief and finally…hope. This first book is unapologetically forthright, honest and deeply personal.

 

Alzheimer’s, along with its effects on family caregivers and survivors, continues to be one of the fastest growing illnesses among baby-boomers. Contrary to commonly held beliefs, Alzheimer’s disease is not a “normal” part of getting older.

 

SweetGeorgieAnnsBooksandWhatNot is also in the process of publishing children’s books. Georgie Ann was not only a kindergarten teacher, but a “book aficionado” who adored children’s literature almost as much as she loved her Bible.

 

This book can be purchased at:

 Amazon.com

and:

 https://www.sweetgeorgieannsbooksandwhatnot.com

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Just Pondering

6/4/2014

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A friend on one of my social networking sites recently posted this question, “How do you handle criticism?”

I have been pondering this question over and over again, since I find it isn’t a simple one to answer.  It is difficult to assess this question honestly without being hypocritical.

Criticism: noun

the act of passing judgment as to the merits of anything. 

the act of passing severe judgment; censure; faultfinding. 

Synonyms: assessment, judgment, evaluation, comment, critique 

This same friend is honest to a fault, which I happen to love. For instance, my husband once shared his homemade pasta sauce with her and then requested her opinion. Both have deep roots in their Italian heritage. Her evaluation was important to him. What he got was straight up criticism. He loved it, and he took it to heart, analyzing his concoction, and making adjustments. This was personal to him, and he wanted to improve on his recipe.

I think the highest form of criticism today, while not in the dictionary findings, is silence. In today’s social media "techie" world, ignoring a person or finding what they have to say irrelevant and unimportant is silent criticism.

I might also add that because of the way we communicate today via social networking, there is a sad thread of narcissism and personal need for ongoing public attention and ‘likes.’ Don’t get me wrong. I love technology and the medium of modern day communication available at our finger tips. I really enjoy it…but it can be hazardous to our mental wellbeing if we don’t take the time to be introspective and wise.

Old fashioned criticism is something that happens when we fellowship in person with others. It should happen naturally, and without much thought. But the world has become so politically charged that most often one cannot have honest critical dialog without someone’s feelings being trampled on. Been there... been hurt, too. What are we to do? Talk about the dogs, cats and weather, ad nauseam?

Opinions are personal, and people have a right to them. Remember free speech? What I find difficult is when someone opines about something in which they know little to nothing about, yet they think they do. Therefore I am often critical in my heart and, yes, in my words…in my analysis and evaluation with that type of conversation.

 But I’ve also been silent.

In the social networking arena I am also silent toward those who have thrown things out into the world in which I may disagree with. So it is with those who disagree with me. We become irrelevant and unimportant except in the minds of those who idolize us and/or agree with us. I have a few dear friends on FB with whom we each agree to disagree with on many things. Yet, together we rejoice in accomplishments or show compassion during difficult times, I really appreciate their integrity.

There are also people whom I’ve known, for what seems a lifetime, who are silent with me but not with others. When I began to take social networking personally, this started to tug at my conscience.

I am active on three different social media sites. Facebook originally got my attention because I had been in youth ministry and I wanted to stay in contact with the teens. Over time that changed and I began to accept other '#socalledfriends.’ I additionally began using Twitter several months ago because I was politically frustrated and wanted to catch up on how others might be feeling. I wanted what I have received from Twitter; a world of communication and shared news. I really enjoy Twitter and the people I follow. I am also a member of a Christian social network site which is very satisfying in terms of Christian friendships and discernment. It is a sight where people are not silent, since we all share the same concerns about the state of the Christian world, and the open decline of Biblical truths, particularly within so-called traditionally Bible believing denominations. We don’t ignore one another, yet there is open criticism and confrontation.

So back to the question “How do you (me) handle criticism?” I am accustomed to it. I am also accustomed to being critical. I have a debrief partner, he is my husband. I have a Bible and I am dependent on God. I seek Him in others criticism and I seek Him when I have been critical towards others. I am not a communitarian, seeking the greater good or common ground. I am a Christian seeking His approval above all else. Like my mother, I fear the Lord in a Godly way, understanding that one day I will stand before Him. He will have the final word, good or bad. I can only do what I believe to be right and God honoring.

I am not emotionally immune to criticism, but I have grown wiser at separating my personal feelings and fixing my eyes on my priority. One cannot be all things to all people. Being true to my convictions and beliefs has to be more important than the unfavorable judgment of others.

And I’m more than ok with that.

Barbie
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Alzheimer's book signing 'When It's All Said and Done'

4/18/2014

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#Alzheimer's

4/7/2014

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Just Do It…

Recently someone said to me they have two gears; stop and go. She is the kind of person who goes all day long. She is organized, (that’s a quality I’d pay money for,) and she is accomplished in most of what she endeavors to do. People like her just ‘do it.'

I wrote a book. I wanted to write a book, and I did. Good, bad, indifferent, received, enjoyed or rejected, I just did it. In doing so, I came face to face with doubt, and yes, occasionally grandiosity. Mostly, I came face to face with fear.

I remember when Mom was finishing her Masters’ Degree and had to submit a paper. She called me frequently, consumed with fear. There were times she felt she just couldn’t do it. There were times when she felt that what she was writing about wasn’t good. There were times she worried about what her superiors would think concerning her finished work. Isn’t that just like us to set ourselves up in the end by allowing fear to get in our way? Mom did finish her paper, and Mom did receive her Master’s Degree.

Push on… just ‘do it.’

In writing a book, I did not know anything about how it’s done traditionally. I had no starting point in writers’ conferences, literary agents or editors. I wasn't even aware of such things or groups until I was close to finishing my book.

To this day, I have no idea how to promote or sell my book as this is an ongoing learning experience. Quite frankly a google search on the ‘how to’ of self-publishing is exhausting. I have typed self-publishing in  the search engine many times, the result is 150,000,000 hits in 0.21 seconds on my computer. I find myself unable to keep up with all the directions and suggestions, who would? 

I wrote a book, opened a self-publishing company and faced my fear by pushing on. I said I wanted to, therefore I prayerfully just did it.

The fear that mostly got in my way, besides not really knowing what I was doing, was the fear of rejection and the fearful need to answer my own question throughout, "why am I doing this again?" Ultimately, the fear of rejection is a matter of faith. I am already secure in Christ. Any good that comes from that is in accordance to His will , therefore rejection quickly took a back seat. I was left with, "why, again, am I doing this?" I did it because quite simply, I wanted to. For some reason, I found it important to process and tell our story. Not only the story about Alzheimer’s but my intertwined story about ‘stuff.’ I wanted to tell Mom’s story, Dad's story, and to add another voice in the moving dialogue of what people and families go through.


Barbie
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Alzheimer's and processing loss

3/13/2014

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I am so thankful that the prism of my own understanding is forced to depend on God.

Thinking about those who are facing “goodbye” and are processing their loss.

 God’s Peace to you,

Barbie

  “For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.” 1 Corinthians 13:12

 

Excerpt from ‘When It’s all Said and Done’

“Knowing what is to come, does not soften the reality when it does come. Thinking we are prepared for death isn’t the same as facing it.”

Flowers in vases covered in water

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February 08th, 2014

2/8/2014

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Alzheimer's memoir

2/4/2014

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After Donnie's death, Mom never stopped grieving. She missed her sister with a painful longing. As a result, and perhaps in an effort to fill her desperate void, she began to view me less as a daughter and more as a friend. As time progressed, she shared more and more intimate details of her life with me.

All that Donnie had been to her, I now was. How thoroughly cherished were my last years with her. I had become her sisterhood fortress.

Barbie





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Alzheimer’s a memoir: Mom & Rainbows,

1/29/2014

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​I still recall Mom’s coffee moments and how she held her cup between her hands like it was a priceless antique. She’d take a sip and slurp it in delight. Mom’s coffee cup was white with a colorful rainbow across it. The first rainbow appeared in the Bible after the flood along with God’s assurance never to flood the earth again.  Mom cleaved to the promises of God. Each appearance of a rainbow in the sky was a remembrance, to my mother, of God’s vow.

“I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth.”

Genesis 9:13

I have a lot of parasailing pictures but yesterday I saw this one in rainbow colors which made me think about Mom.

Barbie






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Alzheimer's a memoir: Daughter and Mother bonding with the "Good Book"

1/22/2014

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I love books! Mom loved books, too. They were by far her most treasured items. If asked, both of us would say our favorite book is and was the Bible. Mom was always discovering things in this “ancient of times” writing. It was Mom who introduced me to a study on the book of Exodus (the second book contained within the great book).
Exodus means ‘exit’ or ‘departure.’ It was written by Moses and it is rich in a type of, or “shadow of” things to come. God uses much in the Old Testament historically, and in patterns which point to the future, and to His deliverance through Jesus Christ.

Exodus also gives a very detailed description of the Tabernacle. The Pentateuch devotes more verses to the tabernacle than any other object.  It foretells the future Temple in Jerusalem, but more importantly the book of Hebrews tells us it is also a foreshadowing of a heavenly sanctuary, the one that Jesus has entered on our behalf as High Priest.

“Make this tabernacle and all its furnishings exactly like the pattern I show you”

Exodus 25:9

“See that you make them according to the pattern shown you on the mountain.”

Exodus 25:40

Moses had ascended Mount Sinai to meet with God. Here he was given detailed instructions concerning all matter of building, design, and worship of the Tabernacle.

The book of Hebrews in the New Testament continues and affirms these instructions.

“They serve at the sanctuary that is a copy and shadow of what is in heaven. This is why Moses was warned when he was about to build the tabernacle; see to it that you make everything according to the pattern shown you on the mountain.”

Hebrews 8:5

Mom was enthusiastic about this study of the Tabernacle. She gathered books, diagrams, videos and Bible references for us to use. It was because of her revelation to me, and her follow through in my life, that I became an ardent student of both Exodus and Hebrews. They opened up the eyes of my understanding of who God is. His Holiness, His Law, His Grace, and His Love are all evident in  His Word. His documentation and council in the Bible written for all time acknowledges that He is  the Alpha and the Omega, knowing the beginning from the end.

Barbie

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Alzheimer's: Contemplating a book

1/6/2014

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It was on May 15 2013 that I finished the last page and closed the cover of the book I had been reading. I looked out into the ocean and thought for a bit. Then I spoke aloud to my husband “I think I’ll write a book”. His response “I think you should”.

It had been just 50 days since I had lost Mom. My husband, Dave, had brought us to one of our favorite spots in the Dominican Republic, The Barceló Bavero Beach in Punta Cana. Before we left for this get away, Dad had bought me a book to read. It was a story written by a popular journalist about herself and her Mother, who had Alzheimer’s. While it was very good, making me cry and laugh at different times, it wasn’t our story.The author wrote her story, but she either hadn’t reached the final days or she had decided not to share them. My pain was still exposed and tender having witnessed the life and death of my dear Mom with the same illness.

My family had just walked through the last months, weeks, days, and minutes of our Mom’s life. We were still in shock and grief.

Our story also included our Christian faith. The truth, the mystery, the believer’s conviction and our dependence in God through this insidious illness was missing.

And so I said, “I think I’ll write a book.”



Barbie












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Alzheimer's: an introduction to our book

1/2/2014

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Sweet Georgie Ann was my Mother. She was a wife, mother, daughter, sister, Grammy, kindergarten teacher, Christian and friend. On March 26th 2013 she passed on from this world to heaven. Mom was 73 years old when she died from Alzheimer’s. Mom was an avid reader and book “aficionado”. She adored children’s books most of all.

Our first book When It’s All Said and Done is a memoir of sorts, in our journey through this illness. We will be publishing this book in the next 30 days…God willing. Also I am working on several children’s books with distinctly Christian and Historical content.

Though I don’t proclaim myself a writer or a photographer, both mediums have stirred a passion and drive within me over recent years.

It is my hope that the reader of this first publication will be illuminated by the honest portrayal of our journey from beginning to end, through this terrible disease. Furthermore, I hope the reader is able to glean from these pages, the hope which we all have through trust and faith in Jesus Christ.   

It’s safe to say that not everyone is at the same place spiritually, but this book is and remains unapologetically truthful; not only to the nature of my wonderful mother, but to some of the very attributes of who God is, along with His desire for each of us. My hope and prayer is that the reader is sustained by His presence in their lives, as we have been.

Barbie

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