Lately I have been contemplating the word “dignity”, it may be because I have also been thinking about my mom. In thinking about her I feel a bit lonely, I miss her unconditional love. By “unconditional love” I don’t mean to misrepresent that she approved of all of my behavior or actions, but I knew that no matter what she loved me. That’s just the way a mother is. I love words and so did mom. We both felt/feel that words had meaning. She was good at games and playing with funny ways to say words. “Pig Latin” was her all-time favorite and she did it better than anyone I knew. “Pig Latin”, for those who don’t know, is when you take the first letter of a word and put it at the end. Mom could rattle off full sentences and oh how she laughed at herself.

As I think about the word dignity I have reflected at how important it was for us to uphold mom’s dignity as her Alzheimer’s took her mind. The word is often associated with death and dying, and rightfully so, but it is an immense word with tremendous meaning.

What does it mean to show or give dignity and what does it mean to have dignity?

Dignity: decorum, decency, respectability, self-respect, poise, honor, character, worthiness, virtue and grace. Dignity meaning: bearing, conduct, or speech indicative of self-respect or appreciation of formality or gravity of an occasion or situation.

My mother had dignity and she gave it to others. Perhaps one must have it in order to give it…

The Bible doesn’t have many references to the word dignity but it most certainly infers it over and over again. In the 10 commandments we see that dignity is directly associated with honor. In the first 4 commandments God shows us how to honor and love Him but in the 5th commandment we are told to; “honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.” The rest of the commandments show us how to love and honor others. There is an infinite amount of reverence in the commandments.

We give dignity to others when we show them respect. We give dignity to others when we show them honor. We give dignity when we are self- controlled in our behavior and words. We give dignity to others when we poise ourselves in proper decorum, conduct and grace. We give dignity when we pour ourselves out in sacrificial love.

Jesus had dignity. He was and is worthy of all honor, praise and glory. Yet when Jesus was on this earth He had no appearance of dignity, in fact while there are beautiful descriptions of God in majesty in the Bible none of them are attributed to Jesus as He walked on earth. (Many have conjured up false images of Jesus with no Biblical truth.) Jesus the Redeemer that was seen and known while he was here is best described by the prophet Isaiah:

“Just as there were many who were appalled at him- his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man and his form marred beyond human likeness” Isaiah 52:14

“He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces, he was despised, and we esteemed him not.” Isaiah 53:2b-3

Dignity is not what we look like it is our character, our essence. I’d go so far as to say it is in part our joyful eternity in Christ. The Lord Jesus revealed the way to dignity also in Isaiah when He declares:

“Because the Sovereign Lord helps me I will not be disgraced. Therefore I set my face like a flint, and I know I will not be put to shame. He who vindicates me is near.” Isaiah 50:7-8b

The Holy One had confidence in the Father, his words reflected his everlasting trust and shield. Jesus knew who He was; He knew what was being asked of Him by the Father. We would be wise to know ourselves who we are in Christ, what is being asked of us and to stand in truth and dignity no matter what.

Nine days before I lost my mother I wrote this…

“Sometime love is marred beyond recognition…It is here where we come to understand that true love has no boundaries.”

Though I no longer really recognized Mom in terms of her personality (Alzheimer's),  I  still knew her to be my mom. I knew what and who she lived her life for. Mom taught me so much, she stood strong in spite of her environment, the world’s evolving immorality, the disappearance of family values and others dismissal of her Christianity. She was a woman of great dignity.

Since her death I have sorted out many things in my own life. There was a time when dignity was not an aspiration. There was a time when I had no need to self-reflect on what personal character was. There was a time when walking with God was but a causal thought, not an embraced effort. There was a time when if I was hurt by others treatment of me I’d lash out, become a victim. There was a time when I cried for hours because my own perspective was blurred and my conduct was unbecoming. Dignity had no meaning; truth, a plural word not an adherence to conviction and believe.

There were times when prior to her Alzheimer’s mom occasionally slipped into loneliness and depression. I understand it better today. The world is a lonely place, people do not extend honor and grace naturally. Dignity is a forgotten noun. Pride is on the rise…

  “This is a heretic.”

The story behind one of my favorite heroes of the faith, John Hus, is a great example of what our founding fathers had in mind when they penned The First Amendment to the Constitution.

John Hus, a Bohemian, became acquainted with the Bible translation of John Wycliffe in the latter Middle Ages. John Wycliffe, the English zealot who studied at the University of Oxford, felt rightly that the Bible, not the Church of Rome, should be the only rule of faith. He took it upon himself to work diligently at translating this masterpiece into English so that “the people” would be able to read it. At that time the Bible was written in Latin and the general population, notwithstanding the clergy, wasn’t able to freely read, discern or participate in “the written word.” The people were at the mercy of the Church, The Pontiff and clergy in matters of the faith. If the ruling class within the church deemed it so, then so be it.

Bear in mind that at that time, the church was the government. To speak out against either was punishable, often by a cruel death. We would be wise to recall the Middle Ages, The Inquisitions and the murders which proceeded our founding fathers’ arrival to America.

John Hus enthusiastically embraced the English Bible and the concepts put forth by John Wycliffe. Hus was a bold reformer and preached tirelessly. He predates Martin Luther and John Calvin as a brave Christian soul who stood face to face against the powers of the government, emperor and papacy.  For his boldness he was rendered heretical and was burned at the stake.

“Renounce your error,” shouted the Duke of Bavaria.

“I have taught no error. The truth I will seal with my blood, ”replied John Hus.

“Burn him.”

It is in remembrance of the martyrs who stood up to the marriage and unrestrained control of church and state throughout Europe that our founding fathers rightly drafted our US constitution to include the fundamental predated Gettysburg concept, “by the people for the people.”

The birth of our US constitution included the birth of a democracy; a government in which the people take part in the decision making process to avoid an overreach of governing authority. The First Amendment of The United States Constitution was solely to protect us from federal government control.

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

In stating that “congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion,” the Constitution upholds that the Federal government has no right to impose a national religion on its citizens, nor involve itself in states or individual religious freedom (including freedom of worship). That said, the US Supreme Court has, at times, ruled against “practices” deemed extreme, protecting the belief while condemning a practice. Some examples of this would be monogamy, deviant sexual behavior or satanic rituals. Yet, on a federal level the foundational right is to not “prohibit the free exercise of religion, speech or peaceable assembly thereof.”

I have pondered if those who decry an extreme view of “separation of church and state” are aware of the fact that these words are not found in the Federal Constitution but have their beginnings elsewhere. Thomas Jefferson originally referred to “the walls of separation of church and state” when addressing the Danbury Baptist in Connecticut, who were a bit bothered by their Congregationalist brethrens. The Congregationalists were the established church at the time, and while the Baptist understood autonomy in states’ rights, they were seeking a sympathetic ear in Jefferson. As they expressed to Jefferson, “national government cannot destroy the laws of each state; but our hopes are strong that the sentiments of our beloved president…will shine and prevail through all the states and all the world, till hierarchy and tyranny be destroyed from the earth.”

Jefferson replied acknowledging that a wall of separation between church and state existed at the federal level, assuring the Baptist the federal government would not interfere with matters of the church. He was in hopes that this would be philosophically adopted at the state level too. Jefferson had helped Virginia by drafting their Religious Freedom Act in 1786 after the US Constitution of 1776. Virginia declared that people would have a right to worship as they pleased, including the freedom to not worship. The authority over religious matters rested with the states as to limit the power of the federal government.

His sentiments were not to abolish religion or to hide it in the public square, but to uphold denominational religious freedom from federal and state interference. In his writing of the Virginia Religious Freedom Act, Jefferson’s first words were “Almighty God hath created the mind free.” It was unfathomable to think different church denominations couldn’t worship in federal executive office buildings at that time.

Additionally, on or about 1947 the Supreme Court began to apply the Federal First Amendment or “establishment clause” … “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion,” in the context of “separation of church and state.”

They overrode states’ rights and interjected language not fixed within the US Federal Constitution. The Supreme Court has interjected their interpretation out of context to its original historical intent. Their rulings are “religious freedom gone amuck.” It is the Supreme Court’s rulings which have destabilized the balance of thoughtful and rational people to include removal of the Ten Commandments or religious symbols’ from public areas and courts, not allowing prayer at graduations, or a moment of silence within a school classroom.

Like the Darwinian Theory that is treated as fact, The Doctrine of Separation of Church and State is wrongly treated as law.

It is not law. It is merely a doctrine up for debate. How easily an ignorant person is fooled…Theory and doctrine are not facts and laws.

The wall of separation of church and state is not a double edged sword with equal leanings, it is a sword which behooves the government to obey so that the people are entitled to freedom of liberty, religion and worship. The strong-arm of the United States government isn’t to eliminate or control freedom it doesn’t like in the name of political expediency.  It is similar to the “right to bear arms.” The intent of the constitution was not for the government, but for the people against tyranny.

Just as Hus and Wycliffe and the many reformers of Europe wanted religious freedom, so did many of those who had now had established their lives here in the New World. Freedom of religion or speech in the United States also means freedom from persecution. It is an inalienable God given right. It makes us who we are as a nation.

SweetGeorgieAnnsBooksandWhatNot

1568 Washington Avenue, Portland Me 04103

https://www.sweetgeorgieannsbooksandwhatnot.com

207-838-1808

Barbie@sweetgeorgieannsbooksandwhatnot.com

 

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Contact: Barbie DelCamp

 

Barbie DelCamp writes a poignant, honest and touching memoir about her mother’s Alzheimer’s and what not.

 

Author, Barbie DelCamp, a mother and wife living in Portland Maine, shares her and her father’s experiences in the tragedy and loss of her mother through Alzheimer’s. This first publication is entitled, When It’s All Said and Done.

 

Georgie Ann Walizer Forney, the author’s mother, died at 73 years old from Alzheimer’s and related complications. When It’s All Said and Done is an autobiographical account, written in a time frame beginning in 2000, until the death of Georgie Ann. It is written from a Christian believer’s point of view.

 

In When It’s All Said and Done, Barbie DelCamp successfully addresses many of the commonalities in ALL terminal illnesses, as she takes the reader on a sojourn through love, denial, sadness, laughter, despair, loss, grief and finally…hope. This first book is unapologetically forthright, honest and deeply personal.

 

Alzheimer’s, along with its effects on family caregivers and survivors, continues to be one of the fastest growing illnesses among baby-boomers. Contrary to commonly held beliefs, Alzheimer’s disease is not a “normal” part of getting older.

 

SweetGeorgieAnnsBooksandWhatNot is also in the process of publishing children’s books. Georgie Ann was not only a kindergarten teacher, but a “book aficionado” who adored children’s literature almost as much as she loved her Bible.

 

This book can be purchased at:

 Amazon.com

and:

 https://www.sweetgeorgieannsbooksandwhatnot.com

A friend on one of my social networking sites recently posted this question, “How do you handle criticism?”

I have been pondering this question over and over again, since I find it isn’t a simple one to answer.  It is difficult to assess this question honestly without being hypocritical.

Criticism: noun

the act of passing judgment as to the merits of anything. 

the act of passing severe judgment; censure; faultfinding. 

Synonyms: assessment, judgment, evaluation, comment, critique 

This same friend is honest to a fault, which I happen to love. For instance, my husband once shared his homemade pasta sauce with her and then requested her opinion. Both have deep roots in their Italian heritage. Her evaluation was important to him. What he got was straight up criticism. He loved it, and he took it to heart, analyzing his concoction, and making adjustments. This was personal to him, and he wanted to improve on his recipe.

I think the highest form of criticism today, while not in the dictionary findings, is silence. In today’s social media "techie" world, ignoring a person or finding what they have to say irrelevant and unimportant is silent criticism.

I might also add that because of the way we communicate today via social networking, there is a sad thread of narcissism and personal need for ongoing public attention and ‘likes.’ Don’t get me wrong. I love technology and the medium of modern day communication available at our finger tips. I really enjoy it…but it can be hazardous to our mental wellbeing if we don’t take the time to be introspective and wise.

Old fashioned criticism is something that happens when we fellowship in person with others. It should happen naturally, and without much thought. But the world has become so politically charged that most often one cannot have honest critical dialog without someone’s feelings being trampled on. Been there... been hurt, too. What are we to do? Talk about the dogs, cats and weather, ad nauseam?

Opinions are personal, and people have a right to them. Remember free speech? What I find difficult is when someone opines about something in which they know little to nothing about, yet they think they do. Therefore I am often critical in my heart and, yes, in my words…in my analysis and evaluation with that type of conversation.

 But I’ve also been silent.

In the social networking arena I am also silent toward those who have thrown things out into the world in which I may disagree with. So it is with those who disagree with me. We become irrelevant and unimportant except in the minds of those who idolize us and/or agree with us. I have a few dear friends on FB with whom we each agree to disagree with on many things. Yet, together we rejoice in accomplishments or show compassion during difficult times, I really appreciate their integrity.

There are also people whom I’ve known, for what seems a lifetime, who are silent with me but not with others. When I began to take social networking personally, this started to tug at my conscience.

I am active on three different social media sites. Facebook originally got my attention because I had been in youth ministry and I wanted to stay in contact with the teens. Over time that changed and I began to accept other '#socalledfriends.’ I additionally began using Twitter several months ago because I was politically frustrated and wanted to catch up on how others might be feeling. I wanted what I have received from Twitter; a world of communication and shared news. I really enjoy Twitter and the people I follow. I am also a member of a Christian social network site which is very satisfying in terms of Christian friendships and discernment. It is a sight where people are not silent, since we all share the same concerns about the state of the Christian world, and the open decline of Biblical truths, particularly within so-called traditionally Bible believing denominations. We don’t ignore one another, yet there is open criticism and confrontation.

So back to the question “How do you (me) handle criticism?” I am accustomed to it. I am also accustomed to being critical. I have a debrief partner, he is my husband. I have a Bible and I am dependent on God. I seek Him in others criticism and I seek Him when I have been critical towards others. I am not a communitarian, seeking the greater good or common ground. I am a Christian seeking His approval above all else. Like my mother, I fear the Lord in a Godly way, understanding that one day I will stand before Him. He will have the final word, good or bad. I can only do what I believe to be right and God honoring.

I am not emotionally immune to criticism, but I have grown wiser at separating my personal feelings and fixing my eyes on my priority. One cannot be all things to all people. Being true to my convictions and beliefs has to be more important than the unfavorable judgment of others.

And I’m more than ok with that.

Barbie

Just Do It…

Recently someone said to me they have two gears; stop and go. She is the kind of person who goes all day long. She is organized, (that’s a quality I’d pay money for,) and she is accomplished in most of what she endeavors to do. People like her just ‘do it.'

I wrote a book. I wanted to write a book, and I did. Good, bad, indifferent, received, enjoyed or rejected, I just did it. In doing so, I came face to face with doubt, and yes, occasionally grandiosity. Mostly, I came face to face with fear.

I remember when Mom was finishing her Masters’ Degree and had to submit a paper. She called me frequently, consumed with fear. There were times she felt she just couldn’t do it. There were times when she felt that what she was writing about wasn’t good. There were times she worried about what her superiors would think concerning her finished work. Isn’t that just like us to set ourselves up in the end by allowing fear to get in our way? Mom did finish her paper, and Mom did receive her Master’s Degree.

Push on… just ‘do it.’

In writing a book, I did not know anything about how it’s done traditionally. I had no starting point in writers’ conferences, literary agents or editors. I wasn't even aware of such things or groups until I was close to finishing my book.

To this day, I have no idea how to promote or sell my book as this is an ongoing learning experience. Quite frankly a google search on the ‘how to’ of self-publishing is exhausting. I have typed self-publishing in  the search engine many times, the result is 150,000,000 hits in 0.21 seconds on my computer. I find myself unable to keep up with all the directions and suggestions, who would? 

I wrote a book, opened a self-publishing company and faced my fear by pushing on. I said I wanted to, therefore I prayerfully just did it.

The fear that mostly got in my way, besides not really knowing what I was doing, was the fear of rejection and the fearful need to answer my own question throughout, "why am I doing this again?" Ultimately, the fear of rejection is a matter of faith. I am already secure in Christ. Any good that comes from that is in accordance to His will , therefore rejection quickly took a back seat. I was left with, "why, again, am I doing this?" I did it because quite simply, I wanted to. For some reason, I found it important to process and tell our story. Not only the story about Alzheimer’s but my intertwined story about ‘stuff.’ I wanted to tell Mom’s story, Dad's story, and to add another voice in the moving dialogue of what people and families go through.

Barbie

I am so thankful that the prism of my own understanding is forced to depend on God.

Thinking about those who are facing “goodbye” and are processing their loss.

 God’s Peace to you,

Barbie

  “For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.” 1 Corinthians 13:12

 

Excerpt from ‘When It’s all Said and Done’

“Knowing what is to come, does not soften the reality when it does come. Thinking we are prepared for death isn’t the same as facing it.”

We finished editing our book. We are now finishing on the design and format and getting everything completed so that we can print our book! I am saying 'we' because without my husbands devotion and tireless time to this first heartfelt project, I don't know where I'd be. Thank you Dave for your support and wise oversight...

Barbie

   I first met Georgie 17 years ago. She would soon be my mother in law, as her daughter and I married and made our home in Portland, Maine. It was the second marriage for Barbie and me, so I was well familiar with all of the family dynamics which contributed to a marriage. Family gatherings including holidays, birthdays, graduations and barbeques were always attended by Bob and Georgie.

There was never a time where both of my “parents in law” weren’t a joy to be around. I’ve even remarked to Barbie on several occasions that I considered myself lucky and blessed to have such exceptional in-laws.

You’ve no doubt heard, upon occasion, comedic one liners…you know the ones…”mother in law” jokes, which have always been good for a laugh. That’s because we can all relate to the sentiment behind these jokes.

Now, whenever I hear this kind of humor, I just smile to myself…but for different reasons.

You see, none of these dynamics ever existed between me and Georgie. She was a loving, decent, kind, and respectful, woman who exuded all of the qualities you’d hope to see in someone who called themselves a Christian.

I miss her more than words could ever say…

Dave

I love books! Mom loved books, too. They were by far her most treasured items. If asked, both of us would say our favorite book is and was the Bible. Mom was always discovering things in this “ancient of times” writing. It was Mom who introduced me to a study on the book of Exodus (the second book contained within the great book).
Exodus means ‘exit’ or ‘departure.’ It was written by Moses and it is rich in a type of, or “shadow of” things to come. God uses much in the Old Testament historically, and in patterns which point to the future, and to His deliverance through Jesus Christ.

Exodus also gives a very detailed description of the Tabernacle. The Pentateuch devotes more verses to the tabernacle than any other object.  It foretells the future Temple in Jerusalem, but more importantly the book of Hebrews tells us it is also a foreshadowing of a heavenly sanctuary, the one that Jesus has entered on our behalf as High Priest.

“Make this tabernacle and all its furnishings exactly like the pattern I show you”

Exodus 25:9

“See that you make them according to the pattern shown you on the mountain.”

Exodus 25:40

Moses had ascended Mount Sinai to meet with God. Here he was given detailed instructions concerning all matter of building, design, and worship of the Tabernacle.

The book of Hebrews in the New Testament continues and affirms these instructions.

“They serve at the sanctuary that is a copy and shadow of what is in heaven. This is why Moses was warned when he was about to build the tabernacle; see to it that you make everything according to the pattern shown you on the mountain.”

Hebrews 8:5

Mom was enthusiastic about this study of the Tabernacle. She gathered books, diagrams, videos and Bible references for us to use. It was because of her revelation to me, and her follow through in my life, that I became an ardent student of both Exodus and Hebrews. They opened up the eyes of my understanding of who God is. His Holiness, His Law, His Grace, and His Love are all evident in  His Word. His documentation and council in the Bible written for all time acknowledges that He is  the Alpha and the Omega, knowing the beginning from the end.

Barbie

 

It was on May 15 2013 that I finished the last page and closed the cover of the book I had been reading. I looked out into the ocean and thought for a bit. Then I spoke aloud to my husband “I think I’ll write a book”. His response “I think you should”.

It had been just 50 days since I had lost Mom. My husband, Dave, had brought us to one of our favorite spots in the Dominican Republic, The Barceló Bavero Beach in Punta Cana. Before we left for this get away, Dad had bought me a book to read. It was a story written by a popular journalist about herself and her Mother, who had Alzheimer’s. While it was very good, making me cry and laugh at different times, it wasn’t our story.The author wrote her story, but she either hadn’t reached the final days or she had decided not to share them. My pain was still exposed and tender having witnessed the life and death of my dear Mom with the same illness.

My family had just walked through the last months, weeks, days, and minutes of our Mom’s life. We were still in shock and grief.

Our story also included our Christian faith. The truth, the mystery, the believer’s conviction and our dependence in God through this insidious illness was missing.

And so I said, “I think I’ll write a book.”


Barbie

Sweet Georgie Ann was my Mother. She was a wife, mother, daughter, sister, Grammy, kindergarten teacher, Christian and friend. On March 26th 2013 she passed on from this world to heaven. Mom was 73 years old when she died from Alzheimer’s. Mom was an avid reader and book “aficionado”. She adored children’s books most of all.

Our first book When It’s All Said and Done is a memoir of sorts, in our journey through this illness. We will be publishing this book in the next 30 days…God willing. Also I am working on several children’s books with distinctly Christian and Historical content.

Though I don’t proclaim myself a writer or a photographer, both mediums have stirred a passion and drive within me over recent years.

It is my hope that the reader of this first publication will be illuminated by the honest portrayal of our journey from beginning to end, through this terrible disease. Furthermore, I hope the reader is able to glean from these pages, the hope which we all have through trust and faith in Jesus Christ.   

It’s safe to say that not everyone is at the same place spiritually, but this book is and remains unapologetically truthful; not only to the nature of my wonderful mother, but to some of the very attributes of who God is, along with His desire for each of us. My hope and prayer is that the reader is sustained by His presence in their lives, as we have been.

Barbie